cthewind's Blog

Humans have different ways of getting energy for the work of beginning—playlists to get pumped; endless worrying, fidgeting, and tinkering; picking fights to clarify a point of view; talking a lot; or sometimes cocooning in secret.

No matter the coping strategy for the work of preparation, everyone must leap to begin.

Today, at the month’s middle, I offer three poems related to beginning. It takes a lot of effort to begin—whether a new year or week or day or a new semester or relationship or job.

All around you and deep within you beginnings are brewing. Go gently in the effort of it all.

There’s a leap at the start—

stretching to clear the abyss of unknown

No way to be ready, not totally

or reason to be certain, secure

No justification in advance,

No guarantee of reward or safety

No perfectly smooth transition from before to after

Prepare, anticipate, plan, weigh pros and cons

Entertain all the alternative futures

Only now

Now?

Leap!

Begin

contemplate

Cast yourself headlong into the newness of this

unfold your arms and foreheads here

be with time, in time, temporal, fully present

a temple—

a space between your temples and also

your body a temple—limited, expansive, holy,

capable of coupling and comforting,

never merging

a body honored like this can enter contemplation in any space

come, traveler,

your thoughts, your needs, your feelings are welcome here

not all will be spoken, yet they are welcome

you are welcome

sink your feet into the floor or humbly fold them beneath you

we’re on holy ground

because you’re here

because we’re here

we open and unfold together

we make the space by trusting it

contemplate beyond all need to understand or express

be in the mess,

tell the truth of it without being crushed or wanting a fix

prolonged unsettling

In this prolonged unsettling

Waiting for a word or a sign

“It’s over.” “This is it”. “Resume regularly scheduled programming.”

Pacing

or sometimes racing

We forget it wasn’t exactly normal before

It was familiar, sure,

but we were tired, worried, enraged

Hopeful?

We didn’t always love the world as it was

and it doesn’t help to flee the world as it is

Unsettled

That’s ok

Restless

That’ll do

Focus, just for now

tethered, as you are in grief,

centered in the chaos

Some moments come as Great Reckoning

Shier ones might be missed or clicked through

The world can be remade,

and we don’t have to copy the old one