cthewind's Blog

A recurring metaphor for spiritual life is open hands, often held together and slightly cupped.

When in distress, I experience my spirit as clenched fists, holding tightly to my own worries and expectations. “Loosen your grip,” I say to myself and to others on occasion.

Another way to say this is, “Hold gently.” This is hard to do because it is presence and support without control and without certainty. Mystic virtuosos sometimes refer to it as detachment, which, in English sounds uncaring or aloof. Holding gently is caring, and it is a lovely way to be, if possible. It’s how I hope to parent and partner.

Caring without controlling is akin to an open flower—strong yet available for visitors and vulnerable to weather conditions. At the same time, an open flower bends more easily in the wind and is less prone to snapping.

Is it time to loosen your grip?